Right now, I thoroughly deserve to be scolded, whipped, slapped, screamed at and hated by my poor unfortunate colleague, cos I realized this morning that I’ve lost her SD memory card which contains ALL OF HER 300 PHOTOS WHICH SHE TOOK DURING HER TRIP TO THE STATES!!!! Don’t you think 我真的该去死掉算了!!! I really have no face to see her now!

Its all because I was so kay kiang in the first palce to offer to burn her photos into a CD, when she commented her PC recently kena some virus. She gave the card to me last Wed, but because I was so preoccupied with my choir activities and with the Ten Tenors concert, I did not make an effort to burn the files until last Sat night, when I returned from my choir camp. I distinctly remembered, that while tidying up my desk, I had transferred the card (which was in a really inconspicuous white and green plastic bag) from my desk to the dinner table outside, which was a more obvious location than my desk. But dunno why, I totally forgot about the card once I bathe and went to bed on Sat night. And yesterday was even more unforgivable, cos I really really did not remember anything about the card at all the entire day! I’m totally disgusted with myself!

I finally thought of the card this morning, while preparing to go to work, and I thought, I’ll just burn the files now and bring to office later. But try as I might, I JUST COULDN’T FIND IT ANYMORE!!!! Panic, led to despair, to shock and finally to guilt. I even went down to the central rubbish dump to find it, even though I knew that the chances of success were low, cos my mum said she seemed to remember seeing the cleaners emptying the dumps yesterday afternoon. Even my sister woke up to help me search for it this morning. But all to NOTHING!! The card just magically disappeared!! And I took so long to search, I was nearly 1 hour late for work! Throughout the entire journey to work, I was depressingly thinking of ways to break the news to my colleague.

The moment I stepped into my office room, my colleague was already happily waiting for me to hand her the card, so that she could get it developed today (she even took half day leave leh!!) It was a terrible moment, when I told her about the missing card, and that was the time I really wanted to die! Stupid me also starting crying when I broke the news, and for a moment, my colleague was too shocked to react. Besides apologizing again and again, I REALLY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!! I know that no matter how many new SD cards I buy for her, it’ll never never replace what she has just lost. I cannot even forgive myself, and I certainly don’t expect her to do so either. I’ve never felt so helpless and despicable in my whole life before, and I know I will never ever be able to make it up to her.

I really need a miracle now to save myself. The only thing that I can hope is that the card is still safely in my house, and I’ve just yet to find it. There is almost zero energy in me today to do any work, but I know life must still go on. Its just that I’m not sure how I’ll ever be able to face my colleague again for the rest of my life, thinking that I was the one who caused her to lose all those good memories she had while in the states. 我欠她的， 我想我这一辈子也不能还完。